5 Questions to Ask Yourself this July 4th
If you're not feeling patriotic this year, maybe Tony the Tiger can help.
It’s a holiday, but it doesn’t feel like a holiday. It feels like a pathetic joke, a half-assed Debbie Downer noise since none of us has the energy to commit to the bit.
I get it. It’s a weird day. Luckily, it’s also the release of Kesha’s new album, so there is at least one thing to get excited about today! I’ve been DYING for a studio recording of “Cathedral” since she performed it at the end of her Ted Talk. (Yes, Kesha has a Ted Talk. It’s very good.)
If you’re feeling apathetic this Fourth of July, allow me to offer five questions that will distract you from the horrors.
Which cereal mascot would be the best kisser?
If your instinct is Tony the Tiger, you’re not alone! But would he have too much pretty privilege and none of the skill to show for it?
Which famous villain (fictional or historic) would make the best prom date?
I default to Disney villains, and Ursula already looks ready for the dance…
Some numbers are good numbers. Some numbers are bad numbers. Which number is the best number?
I think it’s 3.
You own a boutique candle shop. What’s your least popular scent?
It can’t be so bad that you stop stocking it altogether, but it’s your worst seller.
You’re the main character in a Hallmark Channel Original Movie. What charming but useless store would you own in your small town’s Christmas-based economy?
I think I’d run a back-alley racket selling a super-strong glue that looks and tastes like frosting. It would be banned from the gingerbread house competitions, but some really desperate competitors need that $10,000 prize to save their inn from going out of business…they might just turn to some quaint Christmas crime.
Not only are all these questions a delightful distraction from the fact that our tax dollars are being used to snatch our innocent neighbors off the streets and put them in camps, they’re also questions from the game No Wrong Answers! Woof! Dark transition, Becca! What can I say, I’m in the spirit of the holiday!
I’ve got a new episode of Book Pong out today with the authors of Tiny Pep Talks and creators of the card game No Wrong Answers, Paula Skaggs and Josh Linden! It’s hard to believe it, but they are actually the third and fourth funniest people on the planet, right behind me and my dad, who are tied for first.
If you’re feeling as weird as I am about the holiday, here’s something family-friendlyish to put on at the family cookout when you’d love to have a 15-minute break from tense political conversations on general ennui.
If you love No Wrong Answers, you can get it here! You can also get it on Amazon, and while I have personally stopped shopping on Amazon (ask me why!) I do have a storefront for those of you who haven’t yet quit.
I really encourage you to shop small businesses and Bookshop.org for your books, but if you’re going to use Amazon, thanks for using my link and supporting me in a small way.